About a Finnish metalheads and Fantasy authors

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When an unsuccessful author ponders about the target group of his book, (s)he usually hit the walls of despair or run into the dead-end streets. Imagine an author, who writes books of a very specific genre such as Metal Fantasy. There is no such genre, of course. Or there is, but only a few people know about its existence. It’s clear that the author knows that it exists, for (s)he is quite sure of his or her geniality. And the author’s family knows of it as well. It is a must if its members want to get dinner and clean clothes…. Especially when the author is also a wife. A couple of friends know of Metal Fantasy too, because friends are nice people and nice people do even the strangest of things for a friend… or for the wife of their friend.

Despite all this, the target group is a distant term for the author. And when your genre is even more specific and you write fantasy books inspired by the Finnish metal, the target group gets clearer. They are Finns who like metal, or Finns who creates metal, or people who has the same taste in music as you do (e.g. they don’t listen to Norwegian metal). The desperate author would be happy even for Finnish reindeers, if they only would read her book, but this she can never say aloud. Moreover, you can never be sure, whether the Finnish reindeers don’t prefer jazz over metal… Sending your book to Finns who creates metal is absolutely pointless. They won’t read it for various reasons. From the social networks, you know well, that they(’re):

  1. a) Preparing for the recording of their new album and therefore needs some calm
  2. b) Recording drums
  3. c) Recording vocals
  4. d) Have to leave to Mexico for the gig and then record the solo guitar
  5. e) Have to shoot a film about recording the rhythmic guitar and talk about the source of their inspiration, all this just after their concert in New Jersey
  6. f) Doing promotion of their latest album and care only for the comments like ‘Finally a new album!’ or ‘When are you going to be in Dubai?’
  7. g) Summer… festivals… goddamnthisbusiness
  8. h) Preparing for the recording of their new album and therefore needs some calm

Now it’s clear that you shall never catch a Finnish metal player in a mood for reading a book… well, a book which isn’t called: ‘The new awesome amplifier XY z007’ or ‘Practical guide of rebuilding your sauna’ or ‘Cookbook for burger lovers’

Sad is that the chance of a Finnish metal player getting pregnant and stopping all of his touring and adding selfies on Instagram, is very low… though Finland is a progressive country and so… perhaps one day… anyway, it’s not possible now.

So I choose a different target group. Very inconspicuous one. It is a group of people who know not only the torture around the birth of new albums or itinerary of that particular band, but also the moments when the idol of fans in black, the idol whose rich hair usually flitters in the mighty sound of his music, is sitting at home with greasy hair, in a terrible mood and asks what’s for dinner. Sure this question is known ever to the ingenious author, who just finished the chapter in which heroic Marco cuts the head of a savage enemy and brave Niilo stands in the blowing wind. I have found my target group. I thought it wouldn’t be bad at all to address all of those tender, poor souls, who have to wash black clothes on 30°C, iron his favorite jeans he desperately needs on the tour to Tokyo, because his bottom looks nicer in them. All those souls who had to feed the kids who will, ‘play the guitar too, just like daddy and… mum where the hell is my skateboard?’. Those souls who have to wade drifts of pictures and hand-made scarfs which goes something like ‘Alexi is so sweet’ when they want to get to the closet and on the top of it, have to look good all the time just in case some Japanese would take a photo of them going shopping with their husbands. So far I’ve got no idea how to address this target group, but I’m sure that while their partners are talking about the bad track or looking for a good restaurant in Sarajevo on Trip Advisor, they can sit down and kill the time waiting for the while when the washing machine stops its work and open a book, which helps them relax.

Translation: Toni Střítezská

O autorovi

- spisovatelka, nakladatelka, publicistka - reviews focused on Finnish metal - Rubrika: Finský koutek

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